Couples counselling can be a safe place to explore and resolve issues with the impartial perspective of your therapist. We can assist you to look at patterns of behaviour that may be impacting your relationship.

When problems arise, many people are unsure how and if a relationship can improve or continue. The decision whether or not to stay together can have far reaching consequences for yourself and your family, and should not be taken lightly.

Good relationships require work, mutual respect and, above all, communication. You don’t have to agree on everything (far from it), but disagreements should be handled in a constructive manner.

Your Intimate Relationship

Life is made up of many relationships, but the most significant one of all is the one we share with our partner. At the beginning of a relationship, we are in what is often described as the honeymoon phase – we love everything about our partner and life feels rosy. No one enters a relationship planning to have problems, buts let’s face it, over time, relationship problems are inevitable and when our relationships aren’t going well, this impacts on many aspects of our life – children, work, finances and health to name a few.

Unhappy relationships often develop slowly over time, and usually, neither partner is aware of how bad things have become. We fall into the traps of being antagonistic, not communicating effectively and taking each other for granted. The relationship becomes, at best, staid and, at worst, damaging.

When a relationship is struggling, we lose the connection we once loved and valued, and sometimes we feel we have lost our sense of self. Most people go into relationships with the best intentions and try their hardest but simply don’t know what to do to save their partnership.

What is Relationship Counselling?

Couples counselling aims to help you openly communicate, express your feelings and beliefs and discuss whatever issues you feel are affecting your relationship. If partners have opposing positions, these disparities can often be bridged through effective communication.

As intimidating as relationship counselling may seem, most partnerships will benefit from a few sessions if you are willing to work with your partner and the counsellor and attend with an open mind. In lots of cases, the counsellor will be able to identify and address primary issues within the relationship.

So how does it work?

Usually, both partners will attend the session together though some counsellors find it beneficial for clients to attend individually as well. The counsellor will aim to make you and your partner feel at ease and safe to discuss difficult and personal issues. You will both be encouraged to communicate your side of the story. Your counsellor will assist you to talk openly about challenging topics, share your feelings, analyse your patterns of behaviour and teach you techniques to improve your communication and understand your partner’s point of view.

Some of the issues our counsellors can help with include:

  • Coping with infidelity
  • Recovering after an affair
  • Dealing with grief and loss
  • Recovering the love
  • You or your partner trying to decide whether to stay or go
  • You feel your relationship is being taken for granted
  • Loss of intimacy or sexual problems
  • Poor communication
  • Problems from your childhood affecting your relationship
  • Lack of communication
  • Inability to see the other’s perspective
  • Problems with parenting your children or step children
  • Anger management
  • Controlling and abusive behaviour
  • Pre marriage preparation

How Can You Benefit from Couples Therapy?

Often, the source of the problem is not that we don’t love our partners but that we don’t know how to communicate what we want and need. Therapy can benefit couples in a variety of ways, including:

  • Learning communication skills, including how to listen without jumping to conclusions
  • Understanding the fears of our partner
  • Learning how to disagree with each other without hurting the other party.
  • Improving intimacy
  • Learning how to respect family relationships
  • Rediscovering your initial attraction
  • Discovering what each person wants or needs from their relationship

Counselling for separating/divorcing couples

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, relationship comes to an end. It can be a challenging and painful journey rebuilding your life after a relationship has ended.

Couples counselling can also help people through separation and/or divorce. It can assist you to cope with any associated anger or grief, learn to accept your situation, move forward as a single person, gain strength and plan for the future (and possibly new relationships). Counselling can also help you deal with the challenges of co-parenting and step parenting.

It is reassuring to realise that despite a relationship breakdown, you can have a happy and fulfilled life. You may re-partner, many people choose not to. Remember there is no right or wrong way.

To discuss couples counselling or find out how we can assist go to our contact page.